GRRRRR

Well, I wasn't going to write another blog today seeing as I already did and I was in a pretty calm mood though I will probably always feel sick and get a bit angry when I think of R anyway he and I texted today and the LITTLE WORM actually admitted everything I had already thought to be true like how he never cared and the only reason he felt anything was because I went through so much and got hurt BUT, the only reason he cared at all was because he didn't like being the bad guy or people thinking of him as the bad guy.  UMM hello then don't be the fucking bad guy??!!!!   So here I am writting yet again because he pissed me off so bad.   I told him that though I was never in love with him I did care about him because of the time we spent together not to mention to me he wasn't just a lay but, another human being and unlike what he once told me how he viewed us as I was NOT cold to him nor did I try to be emotionless and just logical the time I spent with him I did not look toward the future I just went with the flow and enjoy his company as I would another human being... To me that seems much more logical and humane but, i guess I'm just crazy into thinking hey treat someone like a person and don't go physco on them but, go with the flow then again I am the one who was treated like shit and got hurt perhaps R is on to something.  I won't be doing that again I can honestly say but, he addmitted it and that's something though I still think he is a slimy little worm.    It sucks really disliking someone that you cared about and had a realtionship with because I did care for him and I did enjoy spending time with him at the very least I thought of him as a friend becasue we were spending our lives with each other in them and if I let someone into my life I am giving THEM the pleasure of my company but, hell I was soooo wrong and I usually am a really bad sense of character as in i constantly surround myself with men who have none.     Anyway so I had to write this blog because I was seeing red and I want nothing more than to kick that little twerp in the nuts but, when my anger fades I will go back to missing him in my bed which is PATHEIC luckily as each day passes I hold on to the feeling of hating him and that feeling passes so soon I won't miss him at all I mean if I meant nothing to him and he didn't even have the decncy of treating me as a human being or a friend then why the hell should I think of him as one??? ANSWER: I shouldn't !!   So off I go to calm down and enjoy the rest of my night with someoen who may actually give a shit about me.. Oh and R broke yet another promsie to me... He PROMSIED he wouldn't read my blogs anymore and yet he still does...  I swear that guy wouldn't know how to keep his word if it was locked in a bag and he was given the damn key.   Then again when someone has no character or lacks being a man they don't hold onto their word.  A man to me is strong not because he is physically strong but, mentally.  A man keeps his word because your word is all you have in life.   A man treats ALL women with respect and is kind to all.  A man suurounds himself with people who are good and kind as well not JERKS or people with questionable character.  A man tries to always do the right thing nto because it is expected but, because ti is right. A man works on himself and keeps his mind sharp. A MAN is something that so many guys these days are not.  It is a shame but, to be a man one must learn to be so and with so many gusy running out on their kids how will a son learn to be a man when his father is not one.    R is not a man. He is a little boy who is afraid of the world.   I am surprised the guy is not afraid of the vagaina considering his actions.  Okay enough I am no longer pissed offf.. Hopefully R stays off all my pages and fucks off. What is it he wants anyway?? What is it he thinks I write about him??  Nothing flattering just the TRUTH.. Things he says and actions he makes.. If he doesn't like then he should STOP DOING THEM.. Hell I had stopped contact with him and yet somehow it always comes back to fighting and me getting pissed off by how little someone could treat another person..  SO men take my advice and start these actions to be a MAN not a whiny little child... Being an ASSHOLE doesn't make you a man it just makes you an ASSHOLE.