Well, I did something I am not quite sure how I feel. I ended going to my mtgs. At least my Friday ngiht meeting. I need a break due to so mcuh going on. I fell asleep and I was late giving the box to everyone which I felt bad about but, shit happens. When I woke up I realised R had hit me up which meant he had read my blog and something in it made him feel guilty. He came over and well I reliased that his ego had taken a hit because I said he was decent in bed. Now, I won't lie as I am sure I am not the best he has ever had but, I should give the guy a bit more credit as he is better than decent in bed. First of all he is well propotioned in the pants department and secodnly he knows how to use his hands. he knows to warm up the oven before sticking the turkey in. So R is better than decent. Last night he came over and well i did something I NEVER do unless I am in love with a guy or in a serious realtionship with and well i did it. No, Im not in love with R not in the least nor he me and I can't explain why we did what we did I guess beecause we got caught up in the moment. i am not talking about skippping out on protection. God no, I am already a few days late as it is. I had to tell R not to say the word Baby I actually smacked his head and he looked at me like what? Men, can be clueless. I am like 99% sure I am not pregnant but, still any time I have sex even if using condoms and being careful with birth control if I am a little late which probably has to do with stress and my boobs are killing me I kept thinking OMG start already. I don't think i should get a pregnancy test because I think it would be stupid because there is no way. I mean if I was it would suck because that be so long for R. I would end up having a baby at this stage in my life I am pretty sure. Who lets see my mother walked into my room thinking R had left this mornign luckily we had time to cover up with the blanket but, had it been a few minutes early she would have seen somethign she would not have wanted to see. If she had opened my door last night well lets just say R was feeling a bit of an ego hit when I said he was decent in bed so we had ourselves a marathon which needless to say ever time we have sex we end up sweaty which is gross but, I think it means were not boring at least we try different things. So for the Record R is better than decent he is quite good in bed I guess. I don't have any complaints. He asked what was lacking because if woman he's been with has said he is the ebst and well most of the guys I have been with except two have said I am the ebst but, all the guys I was in a relationship with sai dI was the ebst and I think its because I try to make an effort to do things I think they will like. I explained to R that beause were not dating which is wierd I don't know how to describe our realtionship. I'm his partner but, we don't do lunch or dinner or do anything else liek that we don't even hang out untill late at night. So there is no romance or connection and that is what makes things different but, because of what we have we cannot have those things so it cannot be anything mroe. I think he understood. It's wierd not knowing what to expect or what to do when it comes to him so I let him call the shots that way I don't have to take balme when it blows up in my face. I don't have to deal with a whole bunch of emotions. Simple is good, Do I wish for hanging out on occasion I guess i do but, at the same time I don't know if I would be able to handle that like he and I dno't get along I mean we kidn of fight. He says something hrutful and I pretend like its okay and then we have sex and its all kind of forgotten.
R is the type of guy who loves ot cuddle but, once its over he is very quick to leave so I have concluded that he is a cuddle whore and when its over its back to the FWBs thing. He lieks ot sleep over but, I think that is only because at night after sex he get really tired. WIth mornign sex the guy is peppy as can be and I want to go to sleep. We are complete opposities when it comes to that kind of thing. I still have my plans for tonight. I will be going home taking a nap then cleaning my hosue and doing laundry then I will be having a beauty night after everything is cleaned then I will do what I planned on doing. Nothing has changed in my thinking. I still plan on doing what I have planned I will talk about it later because I don't want anything coming bewteen my plans. Funny how life turns out we never know what to expect and when we get what has always been what is there we find that it doesn't matter. In the end you can't fix somethign broken so the only solution is to put it in storage where eventually it will be forgotten. Have a good night everyone. I am taking a coworker home then I am getting some ciggerttes and doign what I need to do. Good night.
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